What it's like to be a 20 year old

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IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE BLOOMING AND BEAUTIFUL BUT IT'S MORE LIKE RESPONSIBILITIES AND DIFFICULT.

Being an overly emotional clingy but distant private person, checking phone continuously as if something or someone gonna pop up, either wants to spend day going & doing stuff with friends or to spend it in bed with zero human contact  no in between. 
Having all those different vibes and different self, Taking pictures of yourself while you are not looking at camera, being extra sarcastic not to be rude but to be satisfying. 
Telling a story of school days with 7 mini conversation and 19 additional stories, Going to malls & shops just to touch the clothes saying its cute. Hearts get cold when people show their different colors specifically the dark one, Kinda have feelings and kinda of heartless.  Watching YouTube halfway feeling like you know what I don't care, putting groups chat on mute, waiting for reply from a person. Being a over thinker who came up with their own answers if people don't make it clear. Going home to peace are the favorite thing, having more clothes to sleep than to go out, Holding on things in mind for 'just in case'. 
Bearing all these confusion still focusing on living present, liking food more than people, finding old favorite music to escape new days, laughing on things when don't know what to say anymore. Want to conquer the world being ignorant about how it functions. One day we want to start it over again this life of our to change it into better and other day we are like 'let it be, let's go through the flow'. 

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